Life is good. No, really good...

So when Nate and I found out we were pregnant my first concern was that we have a healthy baby, but a close second was that we have a cute baby.  Nate and I look so different that I was a little worried about how exactly our genes would mesh together and I was adamant that our child be adorable.

Wish granted.  From the minute I laid my eyes on that baby with his long eyelashes and amazing head of hair I determined he really was the cutest baby I've ever seen.  Definitely love at first sight.  I'll never forget those bright coral lips...

Sadly, while I was so concerned about looks I neglected to worry about personality... and boy does he have a lot of it.  There have definately been times where he has worn me out physically as well as emotionally.  He is definitely NOT an easy going baby.  There have been times where he has been down right difficult.  There have been days where the smiles were far and few between, where instead of laughter there was only whining and crying.  Then there were brief moments, a week or so here and there, where he was content, even happy.... and I LOVED those days...

Well, the last month was rough, I'm not going to lie.  I would go to church and see all the other mothers sitting with their happy babies on their laps and wonder why Ryan couldn't ever just be that happy.  I missed seeing him happy... it was so hard to feel like I could never make him happy...  I'm sure he was just having tummy troubles or teething pain, but I was starting to feel like I couldn't do anything right.  I got online and read about mothers who felt like they were "playing with their babies wrong" and I felt like I could totally relate.

And to add to my frustration Ryan went from sleeping 10-12 hours straight a night (which he's been doing since about 3 weeks old... well at that time it was 7-8 hours straight... definitely lucked out there) to waking up every 3 hours.

One night after saying my nightly prayers this thought popped into my head that I should have Nate give him a father's blessing.  I know it was more for me than Ryan.  I needed some sort of comfort.  So this last Sunday I held Ryan on my lap while Nate gave him a Priesthood blessing.

Now I don't want to jinx it, but since that night Ryan's been sleeping his usual 10-12 hours and has been a little sweetheart.  I've been LOVING every single minute.  We've been playing together this whole week and I don't think I could get him to stop smiling and talking if I tried.

Nate reminded me that I need to remember these times so when/if he gets grumpy again I can be more patient with him and realize that he's probably in pain, but that with some time he'll be a happy guy again.

I just love my little peanut.  He really makes me so happy and I feel like I have a purpose for probably the first time in my life.  I feel like I was meant to be a mother.  I feel like it's made me a better person.  I look forward to seeing Ryan grow up and learn new things.  I look forward to having more kids.  And I'm definitely enjoying every minute while it lasts.

 Wait for it...

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 Funny, huh?