You know how there are phases in life? And you know how there are times when you know one phase is coming to an end and another is just around the corner? Or maybe you just dream for the next phase? I think I'm there.
When I was attending school and enjoying my single life Nate came along. And while I felt the winds of change coming I resisted a little bit hoping that maybe, just maybe, I had a few more single years left in me (if Nate would wait for me...) But my patriarchal blessing mentioned that I would be married at "the right time" in "the right place" to "the right man" and I soon realized that it was the right time and Nate was definitely the right man.
Then fast forward to last year (and many phases/changes later) and both Nate and I felt like we were ready to progress to the next phase of life-- children. It was time and we both felt it. Then there was the moving on to bigger and better jobs for Nate and leaving La Grande to come to Salem.
Well.... I don't know if it's because our family is growing, or what, but I feel ready to move on to the homeownership phase. I'm ready to have walls that aren't white. I'm ready to have my own yard. I'm ready to have a place for my shoes. I'm ready to have a parking space close to my door. I'm ready to sing as loud as I want without having the neighbors wonder about the crazy girl downstairs. I'm ready to put all my interior designing skills to the test. (I have them... they're there, but I can't seem to commit to spending any money on decorating until we're in "our" place. And all these hours of watching HGTV while nursing Ryan have given me visions of how I want our place to look.) I'm ready for all these things, but I'm not sure I'm ready for the mortgage payments. Can we afford it? Will I have buyer's remorse? What about when the time comes to sell? Will we be stuck with the house?
I've been up hours thinking about it. For me, if I can jot down my thoughts my mind can usually get some rest, so.... let's hope this'll do the trick...
And for some fun here's a video of what's new with us. Ryan's been growing (and my oh my what a little chunk he's becoming) and learning so much lately. He LOVES singing with Mom and Dad. His favorites are Three Little Ducks, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star/ABC's, and Oh, What a Beautiful Morning. It doesn't matter how grumpy he is, when we start singing one of the above songs he can't help but join in.
He's also loving a toy that his Aunt Cara, Uncle Matt, and his cousins Mary, Andrew, Whitney and Annie sent him. We call it Mr. Bug and Ryan can't get enough. Everytime I use it as a distraction I worry that maybe the magic has finally worn off. But still to this day Ryan will smile at that thing for HOURS. It's amazing.
And finally just this last week Ryan has finally figured out how to purse his lips and spit. We've been showing him for a month now and while he's been totally intrigued by it, he hadn't quite figured it out beyond sticking his tongue out. But he's got it now and it's so funny to watch him run out of air and turn bright red while doing it. He's so much fun and I love being his mom.
Here's a little video. Please forgive my singing... it definitely is not a talent of mine, but Ryan's so cute in this video, I couldn't not post it.